kbienapfl
kbienapfl's Cancer Blog
November 13, 2007
| Wise Words | Views: 886 |
I received a lovely note from my dear friend Ann yesterday. She was responding to my most recent post and had her own sweet words of wisdom to share with me.
Her note touched me so much that I asked if I could share it with all of you. We all experience life challenges. I hope you find Ann’s words as beautiful and encouraging as I found them.
“I once wrote a long, drawn out explanation of the darkness and the light…if for nothing other than to create some kind of “reason” for the ups and downs that were causing me distress…and it went something like this:
In beginning drawing class one of the first things they teach you is that shadow is just as important as light. A composition is stronger visually and is far more appealing with the substance shadow lends. That being said, the co-existence of light along side the darkness is equally vital to creating a successful work of art…it’s all about balance. Staying somewhere in between is most likely comfortable for most of us…but you’re a wonderful, unique masterpiece Kathy, and you have these challenges in front of you because you have the wisdom to understand and the strength to endure.
The hard times must be remembered long enough to appreciate the glorious highs that shine on our shoulders. And when the weight of the world is resting in that very place…you’ll feel the warmth of happier times to get you through…”
09.13.08 - 
Chris and Jaime 
Brian Aagaard 
Thanks for your support -
What a poignant and telling visual of life your friend Ann described for you Kathy. Looking back in retrospect I can appreciate what she said in her letter. When I hear of other cancer survivors journey through diagnosis, treatment, and recovery only to relapse, I know that I could never muster up the courage and strength like you continue to show Kathy. Lily
Perhaps one day I’ll be able to look on what I’ve gone through; am going through as your friend does. For now though, I’m just plain angry. Angry that I can’t have any more kids. Angry to see how my wife cries over me. Angry to hear my girls praying saying they’ll be good if I live.
I’m not angry at God, because I know he didn’t decide “I think I’ll give Ken c. (sorry, mental thing, I can’t say/spell it).” I’m angry at myself, because it is because of me that those around me are hurting. I’m angry that I’m selfish to the point of being happy that if someone had to get it, it was I, because I couldn’t handle seeing someone I love go through it.
If there is anything good, it’s that I won’t get upset over frivolous things. No more stupid fights over nothing. No more tension if the kids haven’t finished their homework or left a book at school that they need. I also appreciate every minute I have with my family.
Maybe it has changed me.
Hi Wyseguy. I feel for you. Absolutely it’s difficult and unfair. Some days are truly unbearable. In a strange way I feel blessed to be able to appreciate so many of the things I took granted of prior to my diagnosis.
Your children are watching you on this journey. As challenging as it can be, by acknowledging the gifts each day brings, your children will learn a very important life lesson from you.
Enjoy your family and live for today. One never knows what the future holds, but we have right now.